Wednesday, May 17, 2006

6:30 AM

It's great to once again not get a full night sleep. Ugh. When it's 6:30 am and someone decides they want to get a head start on the vacuuming, and it's not a neighbor, it's your damn mother. Fuck me.

Anyways. I had an interesting dream in which I met with a girl I used to go to high school with. She was my friend's girlfriend, so there was nothing there to be had between us, but anyway, I ended up talking to this girl and explaining what was bothering me. That no matter what i try and what i want, i can't make plans, because my girlfriend's ex or whatever will make things as difficult as they can be.

The dream was quite the revelation. I mean, i knew that stuff was bothering me and i made it clear to my girlfriend i was upset over it, but i guess it's bothering me a hell of a lot more than i thought. I was at the point last night where i was suffering an anxiety attack and now i realize it may have been from talking to my girlfriend, possibly because she's involved in the whole reason of my stress in my personal life right now, but i didn't quite get it, since i had been fighting off that anxiety the whole night.

I feel bad that she was causing this, and trust me, it's not her fault at all. I may feel that she should be capable of easing things, but the only way for her to do that would be for her to take on more of what her butthole hubby will dish out. Oh Well...

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