Monday, April 10, 2006

Broken Telephone

I don't like the phone. I'm close to claiming hatred for the phone but I do use it often enough to realize it's positive attributes.

Let me step into the time machine and paint a picture from my teenage years. I was one of those people who called your house when you least wanted the type of phone call I was about to bother you with. No, no, no, I wasn't a telemarketer. That would just kill me. I was working for a few market research companies, calling your home and asking you what you think of (insert huge corporation here) and their products. It was difficult for me to do. I couldn't do it after a few years, just thinking of people sitting at home, trying to relax and spend time with their families for dinner and BAM, "Hello, I'm calling from Maverick Research, would you happen to have a few minutes to answer some questions on Heinz ketchup?".

After quitting that job, I was very happy to see myself free of telephone responsibilities. Even when I was the Admin Assistant in the company I work for now and a good portion of my job required me to answer the phone, I was the king of voicemail. I hardly ever answered the phone when it rang.

Of course now I do answer the phone. As account executive I know that any phone call is a potential sale opportunity and most of my customer like me, so I don't find myself on the wrong end of the complaints many times.

The phone now is also a way to stay close with my girlfriend. Its not my favorite thing these days. I think it's this way for a few reasons. With my ex-girlfriends there were actual expectations to be on the phone and sometimes, as with anyone, there just isn't anything significant to say and people have to admit that sometimes. I remember the days when I would spend the whole night just breathing on the phone when of course there was nothing to say at the backend of an 8 hour phone session.

My girlfriend now is very patient with my dislike of the phone. We are forced to see each other at only specific times and it would be nice to have the freedom to see each other whenever we please. The situation as it is, doesn't help anything of course, but I can't think of sustaining a relationship with as much telephone connection as I used to with my ex-girlfriends. This is the most difficult it's ever been for me. I have an incredibly hard time the few days after spending the weekend with her, laying next to her, having her next to me or being in the same room with her, able to communicate by a simple touch or look.

I feel bad though hearing my girlfriends voice, when she tries to work through the small talk that would for the most part work on other days. I know she likes to hear me talk and sometimes I think I'm either so disappointed I'm not near her that I clam up or that after giving as much time as I can over a weekend to be with her and do everything we can together, I just need that Monday to get de-compressing done. I really think it's the former though.



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