Dingleberries and Such

One thing I have in common with Howard Stern, is that I fear a woman's affection to certain parts of my body because of the dingle berry effect. That is to say, that sometimes a man doesn't feel as fresh as he wishes he were, just like a woman.

All to often I know that I've had a long day and especially when I go for a run or just have an active day, the first thing I need to do to even feel remotely sexual, is to get into the shower and remove the filth as well as I can. How can I expect a woman to suck a dick when it's dirty, how can I enjoy it, if it's something I wouldn't dare ask anyone with an ounce of self respect to do. Crazy? I'm a guy and I'm telling you I have an issue with having a woman's soft warm tongue on my penis, yeah, that's right. I just can't get past the thought that she's going to be thinking, "holy snikes, what was that crap?". You know what's worse? I probably don't even have a good answer. Haha.

Damn... I just masturbated to Naugthy Bookworms 2. You know what I realized? The one thing porn definitely does to a guy is kill his ability to use imagination. Why bother reaching into the recesses of your mind for the image of a seductive beauty when porn puts a beauty right there in front of you, sometimes doing things on film you couldn't even imagine.

The last time I remember actually using my imagination was when I found myself in a tent at a friends cottage. Being in a tent for the first time ever, in the middle of a thunderstorm, I realized the only way I was going to get any sleep was to self perform as a method of relaxing and do it as quietly as possible, since my friend Phil was in the tent next to mine. Oh the shit guys go through.