Tuesday, June 20, 2006

This Little Girl...

... reminded me that I'm not her daddy.

I know, I know. I AM NOT HER DADDY. I'm not really trying to be, although some aspects of fatherhood would be cool to play out with both her and her cute little brother.

I guess I shouldn't really complain too much, this is only the second time in the last year she's sent me home with teary eyes. I know it's hard for her to see her mother with another person, simply hugging and the odd quick kiss, here and there.

Why though, does she not feel the same way when seeing her daddy hugging, kissing his girlfriend, whom he lives with? My girlfriend seems to think it's different because the person her daddy is hugging is a girl and she's able to connect with a woman better, but I have to wonder how that would come into play with a 5 year old?

It's going to be tough for me. I know there will be more times like tonight and they will happen more frequently as I spend more time with the kids, which is something I want to do. I need to get used to this. Maybe it's something my girlfriend will have to more aggressively discuss with her little girl, in an attempt to help her understand how things will be in the future.

I do want to spend more time with the kids and I just don't want to be hurt over and over. Likewise I don't want to get to the point where I tune this out and turn my feelings off when it comes to the kids as a method of protecting myself. I've done that before (obviously) and it's only been a slightly successful tactic. Time to man up, I guess.

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