Sunday, July 30, 2006

A 2 Week Vacation

It's been a crazy two weeks. The family being away really gave me a feel for how i would handle life on my own. It was busy, as evident by my lack of time for updating this blog or any other online activity i have.

It seems like every day I've been doing something or recovering from doing something. My girlfriend being home for the summer means the calendar is filled pretty well. Between spending time with the kids and the rest of her family, the summer tends to get hectic with all the birthdays and other special days.

I figure this is the time now where i see more of the reality in the family. The "honeymoon" is over, so to speak and as with most families, dysfunctions rise to the top eventually. It's nothing earth shattering by any means, the dysfunctions in my family trump others' on most days, not a contest. Still, overall they are all well meaning people and that's the real value of a family and when times are tough, the support is clear.

I'm picking up the family from the airport today.


Thursday, July 27, 2006

Wow... Hammerhead Goes Fishing

Thursday, July 20, 2006

I Like The Black Eyed Peas

Thanks to Shabooty for posting this.

Will Ferrell Loves Ipod

Finally The Tree is Off My House

A few days ago, the skies opened up and the thunder and lightning gods created havoc with my house. Strong winds came in and ripped my neighbor's tree in half and tossed a sizeable tree section on my house.

After a few days of phonecalls to the city, the tree was finally removed last night and I got to see what the damage was. It looks like a few shingles need to be repaired or replaced and the rain guard for my chimney is in need of some straightening. Posted by Picasa

With my family away, no news of this has reached them and I won't say a word until their return. Who needs to worry them now?


Wednesday, July 19, 2006

What? I can't be?

In the ever running fiasco of my crazy female co-workers. The woman who brought my girlfriend and I together, is once again on the bitch path to her watch tower loving week.

This past weekend was a great event for me. I don't know how to convey my happiness and general good feelings I have over being asked to be the godfather for Melissa, my girlfriend's sister's baby. It really means something to me. I means that they believe I'm a good person. They see the way I interact with that little girl and they can see that I love seeing her smile and care about her and how she's feeling.

All my life, as most people, I fight for acceptance. Although I have an air about me that I couldn't care less about people's thoughts of me, I still want to be accepted and I still want to be thought of as one of the group, to be included in activities and have my opinion voiced.

I like feeling a part of my girlfriend's family. Of course families have their moments too, when people aren't really seeing eye to eye, but with this family, in time, things are forgiven and the best effort is made to make sure things are left in the past and approaching the future with a clean slate is common. I want to be a part of that. That kind of family is not familiar to me, if you consider my background, you'd understand.

So this woman at work found out I'm the godfather of this little girl and her feathers were instantly ruffled. She seemed to question my validity for the position. She of course doesn't know anything about how I am with the family, how I interact with anyone there or what we have experienced together already. This is of course, on purpose. Her question to me was, "how can you be the godfather?" "Umm... they asked me" "What happens if you and your girlfriend don't stay together?" "My girlfriend is divorced and her ex was the godfather of another of the girls" "That's different, they were married!"... WTF?

Anyways. This woman still seems to hold everyone else to her beliefs or expects everyone to be what she believes they should be. Well fuck me.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

How To Steal a Bike In New York City

Monday, July 17, 2006

Not The Beast I Was

You know what? I guess I'm not the typical guy anymore. I'm not what i used to be and i know it. I'm just working now to adjust and accept what i am now.

My girlfriend has what i have to describe as a very healthy sexual appetite and although i enjoy sex, i have slowed down quite a bit since my first relationship. I don't want to upset her, and i know how difficult it is for a woman when a man doesn't appear to show incredible desire.

I have such a good time having her around me, i really feel connected to her when i spend time with her, i guess you can call it an understanding, a calming influence on my day. The negative? She doesn't seem to feel the same closeness simply from being with me. In her life, family and friends are always just a few steps away and since I've actively created a vast chasm between myself and my friends. It's not a healthy thing, i know, but it was born out of a need, a requirement or survival tactic.

Closeness is for the most part achieved by couples being couples, being close physically and reminding each other how they still desire and want each other sexually. I do feel that need as well, but these days, that need is situational and timing seems to be important.

I feel bad that my family has been away on vacation and my girlfriend had huge plans of carnal nature and i seem to have come up very short in the expectations department. Although we spent so much time together this weekend, expectation are what they are and when expectation aren't met, it can be quite disappointing. My old high school friend had the most negative quote in his year book, "Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed". For a long time i thought that was a cool quote, but in recent years, I've come around 180 degrees. It's just not for me. I still try not to expect much myself, but I've improved.

I do love my girlfriend, i just have to learn to reach her expectations.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Noonz Is... "THE GODFATHER" !!

 Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Rape Shield

Monday, July 10, 2006

When It's Good, It's Good!

I've been walking around in a daze. I don't even know what to say these days. Most of my posts are completely filled with negativity and i know I'm simply amazing at picking out the bad over any spot of good in a day.

This weekend was the type of weekend I've been waiting for. Not only was the weekend good, but the whole week seemed to just click properly.

If you read this crap i write regularly, you know that my relationship with my girlfriend's kids is important to making me happy. I know i don't have to or want to be their daddy, but just that we get along well is important. Over the last week, the kids have been so nice and warm towards me and towards having me around them, it's left me smiling and ready to kill, kill, kill the person that pinches me outta this dream. I'm serious, i will kill that person.

I've been feeling so low on energy these days, i don't know how the hell i get up in the morning. The thought of running 5k right now makes me tired. I need to rest up or something, especially since i'm going to have to perform more often when my mother and sister go to Portugal on vacation next week. Time to eat right... ummm.... mmmmmmmm ice cream.

One thing on the negative side, and this just wouldn't be me if there wasn't something negative, but this is more serious than my usual self loathing spew. My new god daughter to be Melissa is sick and fighting an infection of some kind in the hospital.

She's a great little girl, still smiles and gets excited when she sees visitors, even though she's got an IV in her arm. It killed me to see her yesterday crying her eyes out when the nurses came for a blood sample requiring no less than 6 attempts at finding a vein in her chubby little arm, before they finally got it from her hand. I had to do everything i could to keep from welling up myself.

I hope she's outta there soon and back to the abuse she takes from all the other kids at home.


Saturday, July 08, 2006

Love is Hell Of Blind

"Mother F*cker, I'm God"

This guy has been around for a while, but hell if i care about anything he says. It's funny what public television allows

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Circus Night In Canada

I was a little apprehensive, but somehow excited at the same time to see what the circus has to offer these days. It's been so long since i've last been to the circus. I'm sure it was sometime before i even came to this country, so that would put it somewhere before my 8th birthday.

Even though i took the time last week to pick up the tickets for the event, we all still had to enjoy the big lineup outside the Air Canada Center.

Still thought, once inside, the excitement was on everyone's face and the show was pretty quick paced. Not as many animals as i remember, but i guess the PETA people are all over something as cruel as making animals perform in the circus for our satisfaction.

One thing for the record. The circus is a toy and concession stand cash cow. It really urked me that at every opportunity, the ring master made sure to mention that the children should stretch their legs, come down to the ring (pay for ride tickets) and get on the elephant for a spin. A cheap thrill toy with crazy strobing LED's were $15 dollars. Man... i remember just a few years ago, i could go pay $15 dollars for a pill, go to a rave and make everything fun to look at. I'm not condoning any such activity, by the way.

Anyway, the night was a success, i believe. The girls were quite wound up from the cola and excited about the evening on the way home. It's a good thing i don't have to peel the kids off the ceiling. Phew...



Monday, July 03, 2006

From The Weekend And Back

What a weekend. I feel like i haven't stopped. I've enjoyed 6 days at home, away from the responsibilities and headaches of my job. I've tried my best to put my boss's voice out of my mind.

Let's see, my activities this weekend...
  • Canada's Wonderland - Adult Day - Very good time. First time in 14 years that i've been there and first time i've been able to even entertain the thought of roller-coasters and all the topsy turvy that those rides bring you.
  • Canada's Wonderland - Kid's Day - Bad weather almost ruined the day. It was a thunder storm after thunder storm kind of day. Everytime little Julia wanted to go on her favourite roller-coaster, the skies would darken and the impending storm would close down the ride. Boy she was down. We were able to get her on the ride a few times, but it was a trying day.
  • Lord Of The Rings Musical - After rushing my girlfriend through the first movie in the trilogy, we were able to get a great deal on tickets to go see the musical downtown. The production was entertaining, but i can definetly see what people are talking about. There is too much great material in the books and the movies to put on stage. I mean, who has 8 hours to sit in a theatre? That would be the only way the stage production could come close to what people would expect.
  • Garden Brothers Circus - This is what i have to look forward too. Tomorrow we will take the kids out for what i hope is a great fun night. Oh i hope they have fun.
Now i'm sitting here, typing this and dreading my return to work. This is why i don't take too much time off work. I don't take time off unless i know there is something to be done, but when i take too many days off in a row, i really get used to not having to deal with what i deal with and it makes it a hell of a lot more difficult to accept my office.